As posted on December 10, 2012 by Sam Blustin on Soup for the Neshama
This sermon is adapted from a sermon I wrote about Parsha Vayishlah
Why should I be Jewish? What does being Jewish mean to me? What’s the point?
Questions like these have been asked by Jews young and old across the world for thousands of years. Chances are you’ve asked yourself those questions at some point in your life, if not everyday. Everyone seems to have their own answers. Some people will tell you that my way is right, and your way is wrong. In the end, is anyone really right?
I may be more observant than some of your reading this blog. And then again I may be much less observant than you. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle with the same questions of faith and belief, and of purpose, that every single one of us struggles with.
What if I’m leading people in the wrong direction? What if I’m wasting my life? I’m afraid of the thought of a Godless world, where no true Justice exists. Are we governed by Darwin’s laws of survival of the fittest? Is every person for themselves?
Now, you might say that there are people that stand for good and who live for the good of others without any thought of God. And I say that that’s true. But whose Truth is it? Is it a truth that’s 15, 20, 70 years old? Or is it a Truth that’s lasted for more than 3000 years?
So I choose the time tested Truth that has guided our people for thousands of years. The Truth that has toppled regimes, outlasted even the most powerful of empires, and that still thrives today. That Truth is the Truth of Torah and the lessons we can learn from its stories.
We are a people that are given great responsibilities. We are social people. Religious people. Just people. Caring people. And we stick together, for better or worse. And therein lies our strength.
Last week, we read the story of Jacob wrestling with an angel. For those unfamiliar with it, the Torah says that one night, as Jacob’s brother Esau was getting ready to confront him after many years of separation, Jacob, alone, comes across a man. He struggles with the man all night. In the struggle, the man wounds Jacob’s thigh, but they continue to struggle until daybreak, when the man tells Jacob that he needs to go. Jacob refuses, asking first for a blessing, realizing that this was a Godly being. The man blesses him, and gives him the name Yisrael, for he struggled with God.
But what if this interpretation isn’t correct? What if the way we’ve been looking at this story for so long isn’t the only way to interpret it?
I find it hard to believe that Jacob didn’t know he was wrestling with an angel. I think that it would be quite obvious. But even if he didn’t know, is that any way to treat a stranger? Rabbi Akiva taught that the whole Torah could be summed by the phrase “love your neighbor as yourself”. Avraham Avinu ran to greet his guests even though it caused him discomfort. He advocated on behalf of cities to prevent them from being destroyed. And he certainly didn’t try to tackle them.
So there must be another reason. A common theme for struggle in Jewish teaching is our struggle against our yetzer ra, or our evil inclination. This is the voice inside our head that talks us out of doing things that we know we should do, and convinces us to do things that we know we shouldn’t do (for example, it’s the voice that convinces us to stay in our warm, cozy bed when we know we should be getting up and doing things). What if Jacob isn’t wrestling with God, but instead is wrestling against his own yetzer ra? How do I come to this conclusion? Let’s take a look at the symbolism behind this story, because the Torah is never as it seems.
Jacob, being human, represents the earth and the physical, while the “angel” is an agent of God and represents the heavenly. If one of the purposes of Judaism is to become more God-like and holy, then why does Jacob resist this? He resists because he knows that it is not God with whom he wrestles, but his own inner demons. And only through struggle can he become closer to God.
The struggle starts when it is dark out, and when Jacob is alone, left only with his thoughts. He thinks about the possibility of confrontation with his brother, and his own fears and apprehensions at returning home. So he decides to wage war, right then and there, against his yetzer ra.
Jacob gets hurt, but continues to fight, showing us that no matter how hurt we may be, or how damaged our thoughts and psyche may be because of our evil inclinations, we should not give up that fight to transform those thoughts that may be holding us back. Instead, we can transform those thoughts into light that can be used to pass those tests that we so frequently have in life.
As the sun begins to rise on their battle, the yetzer ra knows that for now Jacob has won, and asks to be released. But just like the rising and setting of the sun, the yetzer ra knows that the time will come again when it will wage battle, kind of like in the song “The Devil Went Down To Georgia” (see below).
But Jacob wasn’t content with just a victory. He wanted a more definitive statement. He wanted a blessing. And by receiving a blessing from the purest form of evil, he revealed an enormous amount of light to the world. He revealed so much light that he named the place Peniel, “for I have seen God face to face, and my nefesh (soul) is preserved.”
The “man” ends up granting Jacob his blessing, and gives him the name Yisrael. Therefore, we are not necessarily “struggling with God”, but we are actually “struggling for God,” or “struggling towards God.” If a name can define a person’s purpose in life, than we as Am Yisrael, the nation of Yisrael, are also defined by this name. So maybe our purpose as Am Yisrael is not only to struggle with God, but to struggle against the yezter ra to become more holy beings. My purpose is to be the best “I” I can be. And that’s your purpose too.
Growing up, we are never at a lack for new experiences. We begin our lives completely dependent on others for survival, and as we grow we gain more and more independence. And around the time we go off to college, we’re finally out from the watchful eye of our parents and our family. We discover and explore who we are, and how we fit into this world of ours. How can we achieve our dreams? And how much Judaism do we want in our lives?
As we learn in the story of Jacob, Judaism isn’t a take and receive religion. It’s a religion of struggle, a contact sport. Things happen that knock us down. Sometimes we get our mind blown. Sometimes we doubt the presence of any God at all.
And at the other end, sometimes there are other experiences that leave us in awe. Experiences where the divine is the only explanation. Experiences where we feel so small in this awe inspiring world, and yet so large and loved at the same time.
There are always ups and downs in life. But Judaism can be that stabilizer, that rock that grounds you. And it can also be the wings that send you soaring up to the gates of Heaven. And it can be both at the same time. Like Yisrael, it requires sacrifice, and it can be quite painful. But it’s all about the investment you put into Judaism.
What speaks to you? Do you like helping others? Do you want a tight community that watches over one another? Are you looking for the faith to sustain you throughout life? The amazing thing about Judaism is that there is something that can appeal to everyone.
When life gets confusing, and you don’t know which way to turn, sometimes the best course of action is just to throw yourself in. Find yourself a teacher. Get yourself a friend. And struggle.
The Jewish people are defined by struggle, and never has that been more true in the case of Hanukkah, when we fought for the freedom to worship and to live in the way that has become so special to our people.
This Hanukkah, while you may might want nothing more than answers, I encourage you to never stop struggling. Because the light that your menorah gives off, is really your light shining forth.
Hag Sameyach,
SB
Enjoy “Devil Went Down To Georgia”.
And check out my Hanukkah Remix from a few years back:
